


The inner workings of a Luminary

by QweenGiba



Category: Dragon Quest XI
Genre: Dragon Quest XI Act II, M/M, Spoilers for Act 2
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-18 17:33:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21530671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QweenGiba/pseuds/QweenGiba
Summary: A collection of events seen through the luminaries eyes and felt through his heart.Simple drabbles that pop into my head so they will probably not be in order of how the game goes.
Relationships: Camus | Erik & Hero | Luminary, Camus | Erik/Hero | Luminary (Dragon Quest XI)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there this is my first time writing fanfiction. Use to rp so hopefully that skill translates into making this enjoyable. 
> 
> Also warning for spoilers because tags and phones no work together.
> 
> Also first time writing in this style.

It had been a long day, and it had yet to be noon. Or maybe it was well past, hard to tell in a world where looking at the sky no longer shows you the stars or bright blue.

Such a wonderful eye drawing beautiful blue.

A small prick in your chest deters that thought path as you focus back on what does still exist. The smell and taste of salt that lingers in the air, the crashing waves of water against the ship, Sylvando's black hair gently waving as he bounces from side to side while holding the ships wheel. Ever the optimist that this world desperately needed. Smiles, roses, and rainbows even after dealing with what had seemed like the one thing that he dreaded. How wonderful unlike yourself.

Fists tighten, a slight shake of the head. Bad thoughts, unnecessary thoughts. Something that haunts every moment awake or asleep, one of the many things that haunt you that you keep to yourself. It has been a long time since a full sleep or even rest. Once one thing is done you jump to the next, the others praise you for being a hero and being the luminary. But you know better, you are running. Distractions to keep you from thinking of that day, and more so to keep you from remembering the empty space beside. Eyes flicker of to the side before staring back at Sylvando's hair, ears straining to listen to his every word so as to fill your mind with anything else.

"Hoo hoo! We've got the wind in our sails, darling! Not long now till we're through the strait."

A ghost of a smile graces your lips as you pretend to feel an ounce of the glee that fills the cheerful jester. And then it flickers away as fast as it came. Another crashing sound, but this time not water and not on deck. But Sylvando seems less worried then you, simply asking you to check rather than to gear up for a potential fight. Hands still slowly move towards the sword that rests at your back as you take the steps down. More sounds, small and slight, they lead you towards the room beside the gally. The food storage. Fingers get flexed open, flittering against each other before finally wrapping around the handle. You rip it open as it is better to get the immediate drop on any monster rather then peering through the crack and giving it a chance to realize what is happening.

  
  


Green.

  
  


That is the first thing you focus on. A green like the forest, and red like a deep ruby. Food is strewn about, the sounds of sheer desperate hunger needing to be filled, the smell of a body that has not taken a fair bath or rub down in far too long. But all those senses are tossed away and that green tunic and red sash fill your vision. It gets harder to breath, as if your chest is being tightened in a vice. Not allowing you to believe this really exists. For a second you muse that this is a hallucination, a cruel prank of the mind. But it is easily shaken off, you were sent down here. These sounds are real. That means what before you is real. It feels like a string is wrapped around your heart, tugging you forward to take several steps closer. Hands long dropped back to your sides.

  
  


A gasp is what you hear first from him. and he turns to face you quickly. Your steps must have been far louder then you thoughts. But then most things should be louder. Yet all you can focus on is him. He is the only thing you see, he is the only thing you hear, he is the only things you need in this whole goddess damned world. And he finishes whipping around, the hood falls and you can see blue. That bright blue. That wonderful blue that you have always wanted to touch since you first saw it. And then your chest stings once more. Why? He is here, he is before you. Three more steps and you can touch him. Why does it hurt?

And then the emotion on his face finally registers, as if you were trying to deny it. Fear. Trepidation. Hesitation. The others rush in behind you. Must be because there has been no large sounds. No yelling or clashing. Just silence. Sylvando begins speaking before even seeing what stands before you. But you don't tear your eyes away, you need to watch him or else he could leave. And maybe you can see far better emotions fill his eyes soon enough. But he flinches and backs away when Rab steps forward. And your hands slowly start tightening up as you see a new emotion fill the whole being of the one before you.

Confusion.

Why is it that you see confusion in him?

And then he is on his knees and hands. Groveling for forgiveness. Explaining his hunger and desperation. This time Sylvando steps forward and the fear flashes up again in the blue eyes before you. A growl rumbles in your chest as it takes effort to not rip the jester back and swear him out for scarring that precious blue. Hendrick speaks up and it is a truth you don't want to exist but one you have to accept. Something is not right. And then finally Erik speaks again, not an apology but a question.

"Don't you remember us, laddie? Yer old partners in crime?"

"I....I'm sorry." That prickling sensation in your chests turns into a full body ache, while your chest is being dragged into a vice even more.

"I don't remember anything."

It takes all your willpower to not turn and run. This is a ship but you were a fish before, you can swim, and swim far. Or sink. Just anywhere but here. Anywhere but the one place where the person who had been by your side the longest, your companion, your friend, your partner, had stated that he had forgotten you.

A new wave of darkness fills your mind as sounds fades away. They are still talking to him, he begs for something. But your mind is gone, lost to the memories of your darkest days. Your biggest failure yet. And somehow you have yet to see the full extent of your failure as you continue to find the fallout. The mermaids are all but lost, the land is scorched, so many lives lost, the sky stuck in darkness and grey. And now the one person who can hold such a large place in your heart, has completely forgot their life to be able to cope with this world.

_ This is all your fault, darkspawn. _

  
  


You quickly turn around and leave before others can begin to focus on you. They rely too much on you to allow them to see the pain you hold right now. It needs to be bottled up and buried deep down in your soul. Now is not the time.

  
  


You can hurt when you are dead.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sound of conversation drifts across the boat, you glance and see Erik chatting to Sylvando. It is an odd sight to see, considering how apprehensive he was when Sylvando first joined up. Wait. That is wrong. 
> 
> This Erik doesn't remember that at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Round two at this stuff, with some headcannons tossed in. Also one hundred percent started typing with a goal in site, and now that goal is going to be the next drabble.
> 
> Somehow my Luminary is a lot more violent then what others write, guess is goes along with how I play. I grind till I can one hit KO anything with a normal melee move...... I'm shocked more monsters don't just cry at the sight of me. 
> 
> Sorry but not sorry.

Snow has a sense of purity and softness, even the cold has its own enjoyable notes. Red noses and cheeks, a great enjoyment of a hot drink resting in your hands, the small puffs of white that escaped you as you breath. It is the wind that ruins it all. It makes the snow blinding, the cold turns from lightly prickling to a bone gripping chill. And the wind north of Snifleheim on the water as you try to find the damn glowing patch of ocean, that wind is practically a demon of its own sort. It hadden't been this bad last time, and that had a witch that covered in ice, and a storm that made him practical blind at points. But this time as they try to find a new way in, the cold is biting just so much more. Probably the fault of that hideous thing that you all killed as the monster of the ocean popped up a second time. Well at least this time it is done and dealt with, no more ugly fish monsters. A glance at the sea.

Well no more big, ugly fish monsters.

The sound of conversation drifts across the boat, you glance and see Erik chatting to Sylvando. It is an odd sight to see, considering how apprehensive he was when Sylvando first joined up. Wait. That is wrong. This Erik doesn't remember that at all. You could use a second fish monster right now to stab, be a better distraction to how wrong this is to you. But someone does one better and loudly shouts for everyone attention. Fingers are pointing out a tower of light just shining from the sea bed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You feel dirty, guilty, selfish, and wrong. But you still don't stop the priest from speaking even when Erik starts showing signs of distress. You are finally learning more about him, his past, his family, and the worlds own form of cruelty upon him. But you crave more, but you hold back as Erik shouts. And then he bolts. Your stomach drops like a pit. You should have stopped the priest at the first signs of discomfort, but you nodded along in you own quiet compliance to what can only be overwhelming information to someone who forgot it all. You are moving before anyone else can say anything, sure you can gain more information but keeping that precious blue safe is far more important than anything else. A moment of eye contact between you and the street passers is all that is needed to make them point the right direction, some pail and having shaking hands. You'll need to fix your facial expression before you reach him. Pushing through a set of red doors finally slow you down as you take a few precious moments to collect yourself. The expression you aim for is neutral, it is the mask you have been using to hide behind.

Steps crunch in the snow as you finally can see glimpses of colour on the white backdrop of this land. It easily informs Erik that you are stepping up behind him and he turns. He glances at you then down to the ground, there is almost a sense of sadness in his lowered shoulders. You want to just pull him to you and wrap your arms around him, hold him so close. But you don't, you are a stranger to him. Too much care or attention might simply scare him away.

"Hey, I'm sorry I just ran off like that..... It's just-"

Words and thoughts are cut off by a woman's scream. You twist your head to look in the dicection of the sound when you see something ease out of the fog that coats the water in a blanket of white. A boat, and it isn't the yours. It shouldn't be here, the way is blocked by gold and no one else should have a harp like yours. And then Erik begins to say something. You head whips back around to look at him again that you swear that your muscles now ache. He speaks with a tone of him recondition, and then he is clutching at his head. On his knees in the snow. Your hand starts drifting towards him, but the others traveling with you run up and you stop yourself once more. Hendrik speaks first and the underlying tone of responsibility is in his voice. But you don't want to be the hero right now, you don't want to save a town when right before you Erik is hurting. You don't know how it hurts or how to fix it but you can't leave. But then the outside of a priest steps up, he must have followed the others, and states he will care for your friend and that you should go help. A heavy hand on your shoulder pulls you away from what you want to do, now is not the time for you. It is time for the Luminary to step up. Once last glance at the only blue in this land before you finally move forward.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After using your blade to dispatch several monsters of gold, you turn to go for those closer to the docks and the ship. So much gold, too bright, too gaudy. Everything on the boat other then the boat itself is that awful colour. Eyes skip back to the boat, blue and green.

No.

Your sprinting down the docks before anyone can even react, praying to the goddess to just hold the boat back just one more moment. But then it moves, and is out of reach before you can even get to those last few feet. To far to jump, to cold to swim. Your trying your hardest to think of a way to catch up when Sylvando suggests finding the priest for answers. That is a good idea. He should know where Erik's past would drag him off to, not to mention you rather to have the urge to punch the holy man who failed to keep his word.

Unfortunately there are other civilians around once you come back, reassuring the man. You wish you could fight them all, it isn't alright. That man failed to protect one person while you were sent to deal with the monsters. He deserves no sympathy, and he will gain none from you even after apologies. Then they keep talking, maybe it is to stall you, as you are more then sure the rage that is inside you is visible in your eyes. Even your own traveling companions flinch as you turn around to get onto the sea as soon as you are told what you wish to know. But you don't have the time or mental energy to care on what you are showing the outside world. All you can do right now is to get to that hideout as fast as possible and hope that Erik is just there and no where else. The unsteady rage that drives you forward with a startling efficiency can be used before you bottle everything back ups. For once you will allow yourself the small mercy of allowing some sort of emotion out, but carefully since other linger not to far underneath the burning dark rage.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You on top of that golden knight that was being called chief, sword right though the side joints trying to aim for weak points, before anyone can storm into the room after you. After seeing Erik just locked up and hearing that golden piece of crap lord over him. It only takes a few strikes before it is a crumpled mass of metal that vanish into a mist of purple. You're already onto the next target as finally everything else in the room starts moving again. The monster start to run away, they have been doing that a lot more often these days. All other thoughts other then the absolute destruction of what stands before you drift away.

At the end of it all, your not sure how many you took down, or if anyone had the chance to try. But all that is left is just piles of gold and a locked jail. Now a broken jail, it was taking to long to find the keys and you had still an urge to hit something. The skin on your hand maybe raw and bleeding, but the metal is bent and twisted. A door that can no longer be closed. Thankfully the others still focus on Erik rather than your hand, a simple small glow of green and a cooling sensation fixes that before anyone has a chance to bring it up otherwise.

"I was... Here.... And they were....Yeah.....So she must be."

Erik's voice takes away what little attention you were using for magic, he seems to be not here. Physically you can touch him, but his mind seems to be so far away. You can't find and protect a mind. A new wave of uselessness rips through you, beause once more you realize that there is not a single damn thing you can do.

_And who is she?_

"I've..... I've gotta go." And all you can do is watch as Erik slowly stumbles away. And you are stuck there, as if encased in ice once more.

_Who is she?_


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your hand hovers over the lush green tendril. The orb seems to sparkle, calling you to touch it. To allow your magic to flow through.
> 
> But yet you still falter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay finally done with this little stretch of the game. Might write a different take on this whole part of the game. Because like there is a million and two ways my little brain could take this. 
> 
> Also more headcannon.

It didn’t take long to follow after the amnesiac thief, a short stumble through snow after leaving the turning cave. Even the door to a place that had been locked before was left wide open. A hint of curiosity tugs at your mind, pushing you to move forward and to see what lays ahead. And then you don’t want to see any more when you only see a fairly barren cave with one lone figure just standing in the middle, holding his head in what seems like pain or agony. Neither are emotions you wish upon your dearest thief. But you move closer still, ready to attempt some form of comfort when you aren’t even sure if you are even capable of doing so. 

Looking at the ground offers no guidance on how to help, but it does seem to show a clue to what had transpired. The ground looks like those monsters from before, and the odd items darted around even in this abode. Odd. And then someone exclaims behind you and you see a hand just at the edge of your vision point towards a corner. Eyes move along the path and you see something that shouldn’t even exist in this frozen land. A lush green root, golden lines blanket it in an ancient magic that you know far too well. 

It is an answer to all this, an easy, simple, honest answer to everything. To Erik’s past. 

Your hand hovers over the lush green tendril. The orb seems to sparkle, calling you to touch it. To allow your magic to flow through.

  
  
  
  


But yet you still falter.

  
  
  


Behind you the others continue to urge you. Thinking your hesitance is one of respect for secrets to be kept by those who hold them. But it is only a part of it. But you still have to do what must be done to solve this whole mess.

Eyes close to settle into darkness, a breath that was being held in is let out to free burning lungs. A heart that hammers to painfully, and a glowing warmth graces your hand that holds the symbol of supposed hope. For a few fleeting moments there is a pure sense of nothingness, just floating in a sea of pure white. No sound, no emotions, no people. Nothing.

  
  


**And then you feel everything.**

  
  


Your companions only see the past, simple visions that simply fill their mind and eyes. But not you. No, Yggdrasil blessed leaf has a far more deeper connection. And just as Yggdrasil is everything that is this world, you feel everything. Boxes slammed on the ground, hit your spine with painful ripples. Muscles ache from overwork as sweat drips from your brow, discontent fills your belly that you can’t let out. But you are also fine, feeling powerful and lording over the blue haired child, over yourself. Everything in this world that is only shown to others, everything is what you feel. You are the ground that all stand on, you are the water dripping off the rocks, you are both Erik and everyone else. All at once.

You rip your hand away as if burned, it still lingers. To many thoughts, to many emotions, to many sensations. Are you even in your own body or just stuck in a different memory of this world. Eyes stay closed to bring in a sense of darkness, one of the only ways you can ground yourself. To bring you back from those roots and back to yourself. It takes a few moments before you crack your eyes open to only see expecting eyes look back at you. 

They all want to continue. 

You just want to run.

But your magic flows once more instead and you are dropped back into the past. The only comfort that is found in every sensation is that you finally found out who she was. 

But that comfort doesn’t last at all.

Soon the world is hurting too much. The sensation of turning to gold slowly rolls over you. The panic of watching a loved one without being able to help filled your heart. And everything has already happened. This is the past and there is nothing you can do but feel every single moment that happens. 

It takes far too long to remember to breath once everything has faded away back to present. Short intakes of air give away the fear that plagues your mind and body. Lingering from the past and new from the sensations felt. No one notices, be it a blessing or a curse. 

Slowly you turn, trying to collect the scattered pieces of yourself in your head.Turning to look around, blue hair fills your eyes and you remember why you are even in this cave in the first place. 

For him.

And stepping forward prompts him to speak and for once in a very long time does true relief fill you. 

That truly beautiful blue is back once more, the light shimmers in his eyes rather then look dull. 

And then that sweet little moment is done as you have to keep moving forward. There are people to save, and a role to fulfill.  


_There is no moment of rest for the Luminary._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yha, my personal headcannon is that seeing the past sucks. Because the luminary becomes far too connected with everything. Good potential angst material. Especially Cobblestone, even more so if you go with the AU where it did get truly ruined rather then the deus ex we get in act 2.


End file.
